As my journal is almost entirely friends-only, an explanatory note is a useful thing.

Hi! I'm Jenett. You can read my profile for a little more information about me. For various reasons, most of my LiveJournal is locked - only people on my friends list can read it. (This is for a wide range of reasons: my privacy, the privacy of people I mention who are part of my life, and the fact I spent about 18 months doing online work that increased my chance of random harassment.)

I am, however, happy to add people to my friends list. If you're interested, leave a comment on this entry. It helps me if you let me know how you know me, or how you got here, and what you're interested in.

If you're Pagan, I have a public Pagan-related blog (which has the bits I'm happy talking about in public) at http://gleewood.org/threshold

[snagged from various people: the text before the cut is all standard for this one]

Step One - Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a [fandom] icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two - Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use -- or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free, do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf -- to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not -- it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just... wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

( My list )

Crossposted from Dreamwidth (here) where there are comments.

I think I'm going to see how many days in a row this month I can manage harp playing and practicing. I did about 25 minutes tonight, which is about as much as my shoulder would take, given various aches from last night.

I did various finger exercises (One of the things about harp is that the same structure changes slightly depending on where it is on the harp: for example, a C-E-G-C-G-E-C arpeggio feels slightly different than G-B-D-G-D-B-G does, just because the distance from your body to the strings changes.)

But I started very slowly, with my metronome on 60, and did various exercises, a little sight reading, and then a bit of improving around on the chant "Ancient Mother" on the theory that of all the musical stuff I do, being able to improv on Pagan chants is probably the most useful in practical terms, and besides, that's fun.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth (here) where there are comments.

I just got back from our 'beginning of year barbecue' which was actually a really good time, even if being a social butterfly is still tiring for me. (I also spent a chunk of the afternoon making further progress in my library, so we should be able to finish putting it together tomorrow after meetings. Yay.)

- My new minion and her girlfriend moved this weekend, only to discover a major mold problem that requires them finding a somewhere else to be. (They are not direly in need of somewhere tonight or this week, but do want to find somewhere soon rather than later.)

They prefer south Minneapolis, are fairly open as to specific neighborhood and other details, and they're both professional types (minion is working on her MLIS, her girlfriend is a lawyer working for the state.) They were looking at renting something small-house-sized, but are open to duplex, etc. etc. (They're looking to buy in a year or two, but not yet.)

- Moment of amusement: her girlfriend is a Wellesley alum, who started the last year I was a student. We had mutual geekiness over the VAX systems, as all good Wellesleyites of our generation should.

- I got to have nice chats with all sorts of people. Yay people.

- I'm about to go make a post to LJ (because scrapbook works over there to make this easy) with photos of my library. You can view the gallery here: http://pics.livejournal.com/jenett/gallery/0001zy12 (It's currently public, but because of one piece of info in an image, I'm going to take it to LJ friends lock in a week or so.)

(because I'm interested in what I'm doing. You might or might not be.)

( More below )

(For mutual amusement)

( Sleep badly, because first day of school is first day of school no matter how old you are, apparently )

I dropped off a loaf of this at elisem's place this weekend, and it was devoured. Sonya has requested the recipe, and so I thought I'd post it here generally, so that everyone else could share it.

Now, first, it is useful to know that this is basically a variation of my bog-standard bread recipe. You can read all about that on my public blog over here, in much detail, including some practical stuff that I find helpful and you might too. (Or if you don't, at least you know why I mention it.)

The variant I did this weekend looks like this (for a batch that produced two mid-size spiral rolls suitable for ritual and potluck and one smaller round loaf for snacking upon or slicing for breakfast.) Equivalent to about 2 pound loafs.

( specifics )

Explicitly, I mean.

Last week, an article came out on Witchvox about someone's experiences as a fat priestess. On one of the online forums I read, someone started a discussion about it.

( Contents probably not suprising to anyone aware of my history with my mother's approach to my weight, but those of you not needing a rehash of Health At Every Size right now may want to skip. )

So, yesterday, Mom went off to answer the phones at church, and I puttered. After she came back, we drove out to Old Sturbridge Village (which is a re-enactment thing based in the 1830s New England, which is a surprisingly interesting time period. Erm. Even if you're not me, and for me it's slightly post period of particular interest, which means there is stuff they are likely to tell me that I do not actually know yet, which is always pleasant. As opposed to Revolutionary Era Boston, where I know entirely too many details.)

Anyway, we had a good time, I figured out her GPS system, and we then drove back to see _Public Enemy_ at the movie theatre. (Which I sort of wanted to see because Dillinger had St. Paul connections, and I'd read an interesting article in the Pioneer Press about the movie while doing laundry this week.)

This morning, she dropped me off at Alewife at 8:15. I took the T up to Harvard, puttered around various coffee shops for a couple of hours. (After two summers taking language courses there, I am *very* good at the location of optimum coffee shop there.) I then took the T off to the Arboretum (all the way at the end of the Orange line) to meet up with college friends and spouses. (In this case, I knew all the spouses when I was in college, so it's not like these are people I barely know.)

I spotted Keshwyn

(aka: Mom has a wireless network now. It's unpassworded, which is a good thing, as I'm sure she'd have no idea what the password is.)

I have arrived in Boston, courtesy a longer stay in Indianapolis than originally planned, due to Weather in Boston. (We left 2 hours late, and circled an extra half hour in the air.) However, I arrived safe, found my mother eventually (they have demolished and rebuilt Terminal A since I last had to navigate with any complexity in there.)

I have since made her computer make noise (by unmuting the volume: Mom is only slightly in the 21st century) and I understand I have things to do to her cell phone and her new GPS system to make them work better at some point. However, we have also had other good conversations, and she is approving of the new job stuff.

So... I do have 'Net access here, obviously, but probably won't much in New Haven. Felding folks, please to be deciding whether we're doing stuff Saturday (which looks thunderstormy) or Sunday? I am totally flexible. Tomorrow, I am going whale watching. (Again with the weather, but we'll cope. The actual marine forecast is not horrible.)

(Also, I woke up at 3:30 this morning, and therefore should go to bed or something. Even if bed is a blow-up mattress. (It's better than the alternative, which is a fold out foam thing that was a lot more tolerable in my 20s.) As I pointed out to Mom, though, I get the desire to have bookshelves. Especially since one of the sets of shelves is my father's complete works. Though, erm, I have *no* idea why she picked that order to put them on the shelves in.)

It is time for my (roughly) twice yearly weeding of my friends list. I weed my list the same reason I weed a library: just because something was a great choice at one time doesn't mean it continues to be static.

(I have just done this, so if you are still on my friends list, you don't need to comment or anything: you may just be intrigued by my background theory or something.)

And right now, in particular, I'm looking at some shifts in how I handle online time, and some limits on my ability to track events, people, etc. in people's lives. I want to be a good listener/reader, and I can't do that when I can't remember who the people involved are. I want to have more conversations and fewer monologues and there are limited number of those I can have in a day.

( So, how did I make decisions this time? )

If you really want to continue to read stuff that isn't likely to be public posts over at Dreamwidth, please let me know and I'll consider (please let me know which types of posts, as I'll be working on revamping filters in the near future.) Most general stuff will be public over there: I'm only locking stuff that directly impacts other people, or that I'm still processing. Yes, this means that the same post may be locked here and public there.)

And if you've had me friended, but I hadn't friended you back, and you'd like to read my stuff, please let me know a bit more about you, and what you're interested in.

Comments are screened, so post whatever of the above makes sense to you (and let me know if it's a general comment and can be unscreened.)

I've got a con report up at http://jenett.livejournal.com/925896.html (aided by writing it each night rather than trying to do the whole thing at once...)

A couple of people asked about the Frequently Asked Questions shirt I was wearing on Friday. It comes from Unshelved, a fantastic library-based web-comic. They have other good ones for geeks: I also have "Bibliovore" but the "Frequently Asked Questions" is on their 'while supplies last' list.

Thank you all for many excellent conversations! I'm looking forward to next year already.

(And should anyone be interested in reading my LJ, most posts are locked, but I am glad to add anyone I know from elsewhere. It is helpful to tell me if you want to see the religious stuff, which is Pagan-focused, but usually more about the 'making community/process/whatever work better' geekery rather than lengthy details of actual religious practice so I can adapt filters accordingly.)

I have retreated to home to grow back a little after a fabulous convention. (For folks reading this who are still there, it's likely I'll be out at some point on Monday for final hotel-chair-like things, but I am not currently sure if it'll be tomorrow or when. Plans in flux, as one might say).

For those who don't remember my previous posts, 4th Street is a recently revived convention, and this year, I was hotel chair (in large part to support elisem but also because hotel negotiations are the one piece of the 'putting on events' set of skills I haven't yet done besides vendors - and I get the theory of vendor stuff.)

4th Street is unusual because it's a single track of programming, and of necessity also has some limitations on con size. (This year, I believe the final number was around 148 memberships sold, and something like 130 warm bodies on site - we had a membership cap at 250).

There are many fantastic things about this - among them that you can wander off to lunch or dinner with a group of random people you barely know, and have tons to talk to them about, because you've been in all the same panels and conversations all day. (And can say "I really liked what you said about X..." or "You do Y? Can I pick your brain about it?" or all sorts of other cool things.) It also turns out to be pretty much my optimum con size: enough people to have lots of variety and possibility, but few enough that it's not ovewhelming.

The following is a con report: written each evening before I went to bed and things fell out of my brain. There will be more on some specific pieces later, I suspect.

( con report within )

I spent 10.5 hours at work. (After 10 hours yesterday. Isn't the year supposed to be over now?)

Three more interviews, more discussion about candidates (it's going to be a hard decision, which we knew going in: we're looking for a weird combination of skills, and we finally decided to go home and sleep on it, and discuss further tomorrow.)

I left, and went off to Midori's (my favorite neighborhood sushi place. Actually, it's my favorite sushi place in the Twin Cities, and it's mostly coincidence that it's actually within a (longish) walk, but still.) for dinner with Dave and Marie and Elise and wonderful visiting people (hagazusa and her husband). Much good food was had.

My ability to deal with a complex split check (since we had individual sushi rolls and such as well as their plates and bentos to contend with) was aided by having my laptop (since I'd just come to work) and a spreadsheet. We've determined that this is apparently the sensible way to divide checks in future.

I came home to discover that my contract letter had *finally* arrived. (We had bunches of minor wrangling about how to write it up.) The nice news is that the raise kicks in July 1st, and comes to about $150 a paycheck (two of those per month) which means there is really no excuse for poor finance and budgeting anymore, really. Also, that I should be able to do the furniture shopping and shelf shopping I want by the end of the summer.

Overall, not as good as I'd like: had my second migraine in 10 days yesterday. (Left work at 2:15, was in bed with the lights off attempting to ignore the sun through the windows at 5:30, woke up at 9:45 with a splitting headache, was up another 90 minutes making that go away enough I could sleep, slept til 5:30, when the alarm went off.)

Two in 10 days is really Not So Good, though I have hope that as the new tea blend kicks in, it'll help. (The weather is also so not helping, and I'm hoping that as that settles down, it'll improve. Also, I have two days this weekend in which absolutely nothing is planned, and if I end up sleeping and being mindless for all of it because that's what I need, well, okay, I'll do that.)

On the plus side, however, I had a lovely thing in the mail yesterday. As I mentioned, I had requested another Balance Card from haikujaguar in her May One Card Draw reading.

( Image and commentary inside )

Background:
In the fall of 2006, the partner of a dear friend of mine died suddenly. She was devastated, and surrounding stress triggered significant medical difficulties for her as well that made it very hard for her to think clearly about many tasks, or plan ahead to get other things done. Among other problems, she completely lost her voice for over a month, making phone calls even more impossible for her than usual. (She also has hearing loss that makes them fairly stressful in the first place.)

I spent about six months (three very seriously, three decreasingly so) helping her as best I could.

She’s said since I saved her life. I’m not so sure – but I do know it helped. Since then, we’ve both wanted to talk about how that worked, and what made things easier, and how some fairly simple things can do a lot to help someone out in case it's useful to other people . My side is in this document, though I hope she’ll add comments when she gets a chance.

While the situation I'm mostly talking about here is a lot about grief, and some about chronic medical issue flares, the basic principles are applicable to a lot of other situations as well. Adapt as makes sense for you, the person you're wanting to help, and their situation.

(I'll note here that she read this before I posted it: she may have additional comments from her perspective later on, but we both agree I've covered the things I did for her, and I'm representing the bits that are about her to the best of our mutual memories.)

( Much more inside )

My excellent friend, elisem is having a sale. For those not familiar with her work, she is an amazing jewelry maker - everything from earrings to bracelets to necklaces, to the most amazing necklace-crowns. Sale post is here.

You can find out much more at her LiveJournal (linked above), but you can also look at pictures that Heather Corrina took of Elise-made shinies and their people at last year's Fourth Street Fantasy Convention. (I'm in there, too - this is my favorite.)

My plans for world library domination are proceeding as planned! I just met with our head of buildings and grounds, and all the physical moves I want to put into place are totally feasible this summer, and he agrees about the circulation desk going away. (Also, he had some great ideas for eventual furniture additions, and additional outlets, as I'd hoped.)

I am still having impostor syndrome moments on a regular basis, but really, all of my religious training in 'act as if' and 'fake it, sincerely, as needed' is actually helpful.

And really, the impostor syndrome stuff is not unreasonable.

This time last year, I was officially the library paraprofessional, in a subordinate role, not expected to be at faculty meetings, etc. etc. This year, I am considered an administrator, my income will have basically doubled by next fall, I have more meetings than you can shake a stick at, and I oversee a budget larger than my previous salary. To say 'dizzying' is not vast enough.

The good news, of course, is that I've been prepping for this for years, and had a pretty solid idea what I was getting myself into. And I know where I want to improve, and some of how. (And I have an excellent mentor, and amazing support from my colleagues.)

However, I do begin to understand fully why the Holmes=Rahe stress scale includes positive as well as negative changes as stressful. (My current score is 244 by this version which does the math for you, though later this summer, it'll drop to 173, which is a whole lot better and drops me under the 'serious risk of related illnesses' threshold for the first time in a number of years.

Because there's a bunch of stuff I want to post therein, and I figure I might as well just post it all, and let people ask questions or investigate if they wish rather than wait until I have brain for a longer post about each of these. (Which, barring Minicon, will eventually happen, but almost certainly not this week.)

4th Street Fantasy Convention: I'm the hotel chair for 4th Street this year (and our con chair is elisem. 4th Street is a SF/Fantasy convention in the Twin Cities with a somewhat unusual set-up: a single track of programming (yes, there are microphones and a 250 person membership cap) about books, reading, writing, and all sorts of other things.

Keep an eye on the web site and 4th_st_fantasy for updates. I had a blast last year at the first revival after a number of years it didn't happen - enough that I wanted to make sure it happened again this year. If you plan on coming, please register, if you're curious, please ask!

And, on the subject of cons...

Minicon. Will be there this weekend, with sstaten and looking forward to seeing various and sundry people. (I'm feeling very laid back about this year, mostly because I don't have tons of energy to do anything else.) But I like my yearly visit from Scott, I get to see a lot of elisem, and have lots of good conversations. What's not to like? (Minicon is a local SF community that Scott and I have been going to for .. six years? Lots of book discussion.)

Dreamwidth: Like at least a third of my friends list, I am deeply looking forward to the open launch of Dreamwidth. Unlike chunks of said friends list, I do not yet have an invite code and am deeply envious. But that's okay. I can wait for open launch on April 30th. I think.

Why Dreamwidth? I want to do my own post about this in the near future, but rather than wait for me to have brain, you can read the advocacy page and especially might want to take a look at the collection of Why Dreamwidth? posts. Things I particularly love: the active support of female coders, especially people who are new to coding. Actively soliciting volunteers of many kinds. The documentation of not just what the policies are - but the underlying reasons for particular decisions and active communication about them. (And that's on top of the "let's fix this thing that has been bugging us on LiveJournal for years" in ways that actually look like they'll work.)

Alternity: I've been playing in a Harry Potter alternate universe game called Alternity since late December (and am having a total blast in a lowish-demand sort of way.) For day to day reading, I find the easiest thing to do is to bookmark http://alt-player.livejournal.com/friends , but our illustrious mod also does recaps (findable at http://community.livejournal.com/alt_fen/tag=recaps ). The user info of alt_fen gives some more information, too. (I'm glad to answer practical questions about the game, but in general, players don't reveal who they're playing. More fun that way!)

Full Moon Swaps: Also around January, I became one of (several) swaps on full_moon_swaps, a swapping community focused on Pagan and earth-friendly swaps. It's been a little slow getting us up to speed (which, honestly, I consider par for the course when you have the former mod handing over the community to a bunch of people who haven't worked together, plus something that works in month-long cycles), but we're slowly getting things together, and I've really enjoyed my swaps in the community a lot, even though my work schedule has limited what I've felt comfortable participating in this spring. (Mod stuff, I can do at 5am. Shopping is a little trickier to do then since the 3 week turn-around on sending out each month's swap makes relying on shipping not a great fit for how I prefer to work.)

I'm handling Membership, and we handle requests once a month around the new moon, so that new members can participate in the next swap at the full moon. (As it's currently the full moon, or nearly, you would be right in guessing that a new swap will be announced shortly, and that I'd next be doing approvals in about 2 weeks.) Any questions, feel free to ask me.

And now I am going to go off and clean for full moon ritual tonight, with our first prospective student visitor. Whee! (Why I forgot about the meeting I have until 4:45 today, I'm not sure, but it cuts down on possible cleaning after I get home, so I got up especially early.)

So, elisem made a pendant, called "Nine things about Oracles". A vast number of people (we're on the fifth set and counting) have been moved to write things related to this pendant. You can see the complete list here

And, well, I got hit over the head with one too. (It's still rough: there is likely editing to come, but I want to post it.)

The oracle's first year

One time, the oracle became the oracle.
This kind of beginning, you get only once
Waking with the dawn in a much changed world.

Two times, the oracle thought about leaving forever.
Her training was short on 'how to cope' skills.
In the dark, she made plans to flee and forget.
(If she could, if only she could.)

Three times, the oracle walked into the ocean.
The waves overwhelmed her like the visions she danced with.
The power unchecked rubbing salt in her wounds.

Four times, the oracle had no real answer.
No image, no words, no riddle, no clue.
The oracle sat impassive, unmoving.
(She'd been scolded for faking it just yesterday.)

Five times, the oracle felt the tears fall.
She wanted to reach out, to connect, and to hold.
But her tripod seats one: no comfort here.

Six times, the oracle heard the news,
Saw her words ripple outwards. Touching the old
And the young, the cowed and the free.
(Dying – and sometimes living – on her turn of phrase.)

Seven times, the oracle saw more than she wanted.
One’s greed and control, another’s hatred and fear.
The sound of their footsteps, running away.

Eight times, the oracle was scolded.
She was so young, she couldn’t be right.
The querent got comfort – the querent had coin.
(Leaving the oracle doubting, alone.)

Nine times, the oracle said just the right thing.
Saw the light in the eyes, the star of new hope.
Her payment in smiles, she went home contented.

(But always, and ever, alone with her thoughts.)